Before picture from the summer of 2006. 300+ pounds.
Life was grand. I had finally conquered the whole binge eating and morbid obesity thing and considered Lane Bryant and The Avenue as old friends I'd never see again. Portion control and exercise had become a part of my life, as much a part of my routine as googling for news about George Michael or brushing my teeth. Life in the fat lane was in my rear view mirror and I was determined to never look back.
My thinnest weight, 215 lbs, August 2008
One day I was visiting my parents' house and my dad, who has never really been known for his sensitivity, pulled me aside to give me some advice. "Listen, Taryn," he said sagely. "I know you think you've got this weight thing conquered, but trust me, inside of you there's an inner fat girl fighting to get out."
Of course I was hurt. I was a size 14! I could shop at the Gap for crying out loud! My days of eating my way through the value menu at McDonalds were over with. I laughed at him and moved on with my life, but in the back of my mind his words stuck with me. An inner fat girl, fighting to get out.
Well, a year and a half later I've gained back quite a few of the pounds I lost and I know he was right. I'm going to be fighting my inner fat girl for the rest of my life. I'm determined to get back on track and finally reach my goal, not to be thin but to be strong and healthy. My plans are to write about this journey here and hopefully find some cheerleaders to help me along the way.
7 comments:
I have been on your journey also. I have an inner fat girl too, but I think that she'll always be a part of me in that she was as much a part of me as my hair color or eyes. She is in my past, where I hope she'll remain, but she does still make apprearances.
I started dieting when my last child was 6 months old, I weighed in at 220 lbs. and I lost down to 153 lbs. My youngest is 6 years old and I now weigh 168 lbs. I'm back on weight watchers and I hope to get back to 155, which seems a little amount, but might as well be a mountain. I have kept my weight off by never buying a bigger size, for me that works. However, my mother died and I ate my way through my grief the last 2 years. I realize now that the fat girl in me is still around with all her bad habits, insecurities and poor eating habits. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I will be on the same journey as you are on, I'll be reading and cheering you on as you travel the weight loss road. Good luck!
Thank you so much! Good luck to you too, and I'm sorry about your mom.
Hey--someone else who likes both Weight Watchers AND George Michael. (How good was "Patience"? Like SO good, right?) This is a blog I can get behind.
I stopped by after seeing your comment on amalah.com. I'm still waiting to get to the point where I can claim to have an inner fat girl. Right now, it's all out there! So far, the only time I've been less than 190 pounds was when I was VERY depressed. Just a little sad means more eating. I'm someone who can appreciate your tips as you choose to share them. I'm not a frequent commenter, typically, but I'll read. :)
Kate- "Patience" was great. "Faith" is my favorite song of all time. I was going to marry George Michael back in the day and was BLOWN AWAY when he came out of the closet. I missed all the warning signs!
not supergirl, thanks for the comment! It is good to know people have their fingers crossed for me!
Just found your blog from FJ. I would love to slap and/or strangle my inner fat girl. I lost 55lbs a few years ago. I also got a bit cocky. I saw that I could eat certain things and not gain weight so I ate more (and more and more).
It's been about 4 years and I'm, unfortunately, 7lbs lighter than my heaviest. I need to jump back on that healthy eating bandwagon so I think it'll be great to read about your journey as well.
You're still seven down though, Allison! Good luck to you too.
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