22 Random Things About Me

1.  I am going to marry Brett Favre and have been engaged to him for 11 years, but he doesn’t know it yet.   

2.  I fantasize often that my life is a musical and plan out the song and dance numbers based on various events.  I also cast actors and actresses to play my family and friends but of course I play myself.

3.  When I was seven, I threw my dad’s severed toe at my cousins and neighbors to get back at them for teasing me.  

4.   I got French kissed by a homeless man in a Borders store in front of Dan from the Real World Miami.  That same night I saw Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman.

5.   Last weekend, I found a drunk girl in my alley at 3AM and drove her around my neighborhood until she recognized her house.  She cried the entire time and then told me I was pretty.  I am counting it as a date.

6.   My dog has been hit by a car, hit the windshield when I totaled my car and almost drowned under the winter cover in my parents’ pool twice.  I am hoping I am getting this poor supervision thing out of my system in case I have children.

7.   I used to work summers as a janitor at a courthouse.  Sweeping up the parking lots is what made me really hate litter and cigarettes.  

8.   When I was in seventh grade I participated in a riot and destroyed a classroom.

9.   Once I found a baton in the branches of the tree in front of my house.  I think that was a sign from above for me to join a marching band, but I never did.  Sigh.

10.  I have called 911 approximately 20 times.  Growing up near the Evergreen Plaza, people would often run from the police through our backyard and become trapped.  South Side representing.

11.  I saw the Spice Girls in concert in 1997.

12.  I can’t even think about the movies “Amityville Horror 3D,” “The Watcher in the Woods” and “The Exorcist” without feeling panicky.  Also the night vision goggle scene in “Silence of the Lambs.”

13.  Thanks to my weird high school English teacher, I can recite the prologue to the Canterbury Tales in Old English.  Boy howdy that has come in handy in my life.

14.  I can pretty much sing every McDonald’s commercial from the 80’s.  It’s kind of a sickness.

15.  Dick Biondi thinks I am charming and remembered me from 10 years ago.

16.  My first crush was George Michael, which really pretty much set the course for the rest of my life. 

17.  My best friend and I sold worms door-to-door as children and also had a lemonade stand in which we gave out receipts.  I am surprised we are not entrepreneurs.  

18.   I convinced my sister Kerry that she was born with a third arm growing out of the middle of her belly button.  When she ticked me off, I would hold my arm to my stomach and wiggle my fingers and she’d cry. 

19.  I got caught forging a homework notice in fourth grade.  I even added comments under the signature “I’ve discussed this with Taryn and it won’t happen again.” 

20.  When my Pops died, the funeral home put the wrong eyeglasses on him and my Nana made me pull them off of him before anyone else saw them.  I still have nightmares about it, but the fam had fun trying them on during the wake.

21.  I remember getting in trouble in preschool and the teacher saying, “And Taryn… a GIRL!” and I was outraged.  Such a cute little feminist I was. 

22.  Once I took the kids I babysat for to a haunted cemetery and one of them, who will remain nameless, literally pooped in his or her pants, and another one stole toys from a haunted grave.