Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Self-Depreciation

I am in the midst of refinancing my condo and so spent many frantic hours cleaning my place yesterday in anticipation of the appraiser arriving.  Me being me, I concocted a fantasy in which he would come in, take one look around and declare it the cleanest living space he had ever seen.  Yes, these are the type of fantasies that I have, which may explain some of the ups and downs I've had in relationships.

He arrived and I immediately began following him around, pointing out every single flaw in my unit.  You're reading that right- I helped him depreciate the value of my property.  What flaws, you might ask?


Do you see the gigantic hole in my bathroom wall?  That's good, because the appraiser didn't, until I pointed it out.  I had remodeling done almost two years ago and the no-good, ridiculous, possibly drug-addled contractor ended up walking out before the job was finished.  I am not sure why he had to pop a hole in the wall, but I've been staring at it for two years now.  I think it gives the place a rustic, country look.


In this picture, you might notice the single bulb in the non-middle of my kitchen ceiling.  Believe it or not, this is an improvement because for a year and a half, there was just a hanging mass of wires and a lamp plugged in and shoved into a corner.  Also note the bizarre outlet placement and the patchwork that needs to be done on the ceiling.  Again, if you ever need to know what contractor NOT to use in the Chicago area, please contact me.  


This used to be the entrance to my kitchen and now it is a lovely showcase of the back of my refrigerator.  Eventually there will be a wall there.  Also, at some point, the "Lost in Space" style tract lighting will be taken down.

So anyway, the appraiser came and went in fifteen minutes, never once mentioning how clean my baseboards were or noting the beautiful organization of my guest bedroom closet.  He also never thanked me for helping him take points off my final score.  I guess some people can't acknowledge a helping hand.  Next time he comes, I'll point that out to him too.

EDITED TO ADD:  Here's a picture of my old kitchen, just for comparison.

Yes, the new one is an improvement.  It only took six months to 95% redo an 8 by 10 foot space!  That's an admirable work ethic. 

Also, if you're in Chicago and need a mortgage broker, I have a great one.

3 comments:

  1. I really like the new kitchen!

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  2. You have a really cute apartment. I'm in love with all the cabinets, and that brick...so URBANE. And not a lick of vinyl siding (like ours) in sight.

    Adam is dying to get these neon track lights for a room we still have to furnish. I keep telling him to take the leap from the '80s, but he's stubborn. If he mentions etageres, I'm outta here. Or he is. SOMEONE is.

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  3. Thanks, Jess! Hopefully it will be finished before 2014.

    Kate, I had to google for what an etagere was, but I fully support your decision to divorce over that.

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