Exciting news! Starting this Tuesday, I will be unable to chew for another month. If you're keeping track, this will make three solid months of not being able to eat solid food in the last year. Also, I think I bought my oral surgeon a new Ferrari. Life is just groovy sometimes.
I know a month of ice cream and milkshakes and smoothies sounds glorious. The problem is that I can't even THINK about soup at this point. I spent the first month of not chewing eating soup and the second eating cut up noodles. Now the very idea of either one of these foods makes me want to strangle someone with a soup noodle. Being hungry makes me cranky and non-responsible for any homicides I may perpetrate.
So do you lovely people have any advice or recipes or new ideas or winning lottery tickets? I'd really appreciate any grand, exciting, non-teeth-using diet advice. In exchange, I promise really awesome swollen face pictures and maybe some entries written while looped out on pain killers. Some of these might be useful for blackmail purposes, so this offer is not entirely worthless. Keep that in mind.