The problem was I was internally panicking and feeling guilty, even though I am not a shoplifter. The guilt of even being accused or suspected was too much for me. "Don't you want to check my purse too?" I asked, helpfully. She eyed me suspiciously as I started to sweat. I had visions of being thrown in the clink and maybe even executed. I can't help it- I live in Illinois, the home of death row inmates being found innocent hours before execution. You just never know where the yellow brick road of life will lead you.
So the point is I overreact a little bit every once in a while. Just a smidgen. And apparently my panicked "I suck at life" post yesterday may have had a touch of the dramatic to it. Last night I went to the gym and gathered up the courage to weigh myself. It was the end of the day and I had my clothes and shoes on and a good two liters of water in my system. I only weighed about seven lbs more than I did the last time I weighed, before the Great Eating Tour of Chicago 2010 began. So realistically, I probably am up four lbs or so. This is a far cry from the thirty lbs I was expecting to have gained. I went from googling rascal scooters and chair lifts for future use to feeling pretty darn good about life and weight in general. My brain is not always rational. I've learned to accept this.
Still walking the miles away for Lyme Disease at the new gym, by the way.
Still totally winning beauty contests while doing it too. I am surprised no one asks for my autograph at the gym. I really do look exactly like Cindy Crawford.