Green Acres

I've mentioned before that I have a lot of free time on my hands.  Kind of a ridiculous amount, if you want to get technical.  Also, I am kind of a dork when it comes to projects.  I flutter from one to the next, getting a little obsessive and then occasionally abandoning them to the dark recesses of my brain, never to revisit again.  I'm looking at you, knitting classes.

Eighteen months ago, I saw a book on the new arrivals display and I picked it up on a lark.  "The Eco-Chick Guide to Life: How to Be Fabulously Green" was the title, and I think I picked it up because the author's name was Starre Vartan.  Sometimes I like to imagine what my life would be like if I had a more glittery name like Starre.  I'd like to think I'd have blonde hair and wear a lot of carefully draped scarves.  Anyway, it was a good book and I got inspired to get secretly obsessed with becoming more environmentally friendly.  It became almost like a contest for me.  Like I said, I have a lot of free time.  

So here is my very smug, holier-than-thou list of the ways I am honoring Mother Earth on a daily basis.  Please read this and know how vastly superior I am to you plebeians who still use Dow Scrubbing Bubbles to clean your shower.

THE GOOD

• I reduce, reuse and recycle.  I've also spent the last two years dramatically reducing they amount of stuff I have.  During my remodeling debacle of 2008, I was told I had to pack all of my stuff up and move out with two days notice.  My family had just finished moving my parents and I didn't want to bug anyone else, so I packed and unpacked all by myself.  If that doesn't make someone want to get rid of half of the crap in their lives, nothing will.
• I use all natural products to clean.  Think vinegar and baking soda.  I clean my stainless steel appliances with olive oil, which works shockingly great.  It took some getting used to as I used to be the world's biggest fan of the smell of Mr. Clean, but my house is clean and eighteen months in, no one has noticed the difference.  
• I don't use paper products.  I have a ton of rags that I use instead of paper towels and I bought a boatload of reusable napkins at Target.  This is something I thought would be really hard to get used to, but to me, the rags seems to clean much better and I've even saved a ton of money.  EDIT:  I do use toilet paper.  Yes, this has to be said because some people do not.  These people are weird.  I try not to judge, but come on. We all have our limits.
• A couple of years ago, I went to the zoo with my friend Anne and she told me she made her own laundry detergent.  I smiled at her and humored her and thought she was nuts.  Now I use her recipe.  Yes, my clothes are clean and they do not smell.  I do sort of miss the smell of Tide and Downy, I will admit that.
• I've replaced regular light bulbs with CFLs and have unplugged chargers, appliances I don't use all the time and other sources of phantom electricity.   My electric bill is $25 bucks a month.  
• I turn my air conditioning on maybe seven days a year.  I live close to the lake so that helps with the heat, but I also didn't grow up with central air and don't really enjoy being super cold in the summer.  
• I use a Diva Cup instead of tampons.  Please enjoy that TMI, male friends.  I was really reluctant to even try this but honestly it works so much better than tampons, has to be changed less often and is so much cheaper it's ridiculous.  I am a big fan.  This makes my sisters queasy to even think about and you do have to be, um, comfortable with your um, anatomy to use it, but if you're on the fence about trying one, I really do like mine.

THE FAILED EXPERIMENTS

• I tried to do the whole no shampoo thing.  Three weeks in, my hair looked good but I just missed the smell of clean hair.  I'm snotty about smells.  Honestly, though, this worked great as far as making my hair look better.
• Diet Coke is my nemesis.  I've tried to quit approximately 40000 times.  I do feel guilty every time I toss a can into the recycling bin, if it makes you feel any better.

THE BAD

• I drive.  I thought about getting rid of my car but I am a terrible person.  I also drive a very hip car for the eighty-and-over demographic, a Buick Century.  It gets 23 miles to the gallon.  Ed Begley Jr is shaking his blonde locks at me right now.