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Annie had me pretend to be Quasimodo when we visited Notre Dame in Paris. I think she was trying to humiliate me out of frustration because she was so annoyed with me by then she wanted to leave me at the airport and pretend we never met. When we walked into Notre Dame, I kept saying, "Wow, this is beautiful but it's nothing like the movie." Finally, Annie said, "You're talking about the animated Disney movie, aren't you?" Yes, yes I was.
Annie is smarter than me and more cultured. She filled every day of our two week trip with museum visits and carefully researched excursions. Since my attention span rivals that of a fly, I had a hard time with this. I insisted we tour the Louvre in fifteen minutes, for instance, holding up a camera from the back of the line to take a picture of the Mona Lisa. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed her plans for the most part, and she definitely catered to my interests in many of them.
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That's me with the gazebo from "The Sound of Music!" We went on a five hour tour of sets and locations from that movie, and I think Annie wanted to die inside a little but I was in heaven.
On the last day of our trip, Annie allowed me to pick our itinerary. We were in Paris, and she suggested we see Moulin Rogue or visit another museum or see another priceless work of art. I considered these ideas for maybe nineteen seconds before deciding where we would spend 1/14th of our time in Europe.
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Yes, we went to Euro Disney. Yes, my sister was disgusted with me and humiliated by my terrible sense of history and art, but we had a great time. Even Annie will tell you she had fun, although I'm sure she'll say the Sistine Chapel was better. Yawn.
Anyway, next week I am making my triumphant return to visit Mickey Mouse in Florida. I'm taking my beautiful goddaughter Jamie to Disney World and then on a five day cruise to the Bahamas. Annie is going too. She still travels with me, can you believe it? This is just a heads up that if I don't post next week, it doesn't mean I'm dead, although you never know what will happen if we take too many trips on the "Small World" ride.
You are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, only suckers stand in the (full) line for the Mona Lisa. I mean, there's no shocker once you get to the front. She (he?) does indeed look like every one of the 1,567,233 copies ever made.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I LOVED EuroDisney. And apparently, so do the Germans. Minnie Mouse and I stuck out like sore thumbs in the sea of blonde.
I had a friend who was so excited to finally get to the Lourve and was so underwhelmed when he got to the Mona Lisa he couldn't stop laughing. Imagine this with a gay Georgia prep-school drawl: "It was the size of a postage stamp. All these people come from all over the world to see it and it is just N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I couldn't stop laughing." This guy went on to get a masters in fine arts, so a lack of "fetchuns-up" and a lack of respect for art was not the problem. Its the painting.
ReplyDeleteI spent YEARS slogging away in the hallowed halls of retail sales in Florida. I can't tell you how many times I had to haul some French MAN out of the ladies dressing room. They thought Americans were totally provincial with that one. Here is a thought: Bathe and wear some socks, for the love of pete! It may be French perfume, but it doesn't cover the stink.
You know they are total hypocrites, too. They wouldn't DARE go to Euro-Disney, but guess who is is first in line in Orlando?
So you're cruisin for a bruisin in the bahamas :)
ReplyDeleteLove all the photos on this post -- I made my other half do the Sound of Music tour with me...and I loved every second of it, including the sing-a-long on the bus.
ReplyDeleteSo you're cruisin for a bruisin in the bahamas :)
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious.
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