First of all, internet people, I want to start out by assuring you that I don't have Munchausen's Syndrome. Before 2010, I had not been sick in five years, and I can't even remember the last time I was in the emergency room. You may doubt me on this because in the year(!!!) that I have been doing this whole blog thing, I've had three mouth surgeries and have been to the ER after smashing my fingers in a garbage chute. This new little incident takes the pain cake, though, I can promise you that.
Yesterday, being the athlete that I am, I bent over sideways to pick something up from the floor in my bedroom. It immediately felt like I pulled a muscle in my lower back, and it got steadily worse all day. My GP gave me a prescription for Vicodin and muscle relaxers, but after taking four of them in two hours, it became apparent that something more serious was going on, so my beloved and sainted mother took me to the ER at midnight.
After a delightful five hours in which I writhed in pain on a gurney while we listened to a man in the area next to us complain loudly about women, minorities and not being allowed to order a turkey sandwich, it turns out that I sprained a muscle and a joint between my hip and my back. I have bed-rest for five days (I think- details became a little fuzzy after they gave me Valium and something called Norcos) and have to eventually have physical therapy. It apparently won't feel better for several weeks.
Well let me tell you, it feels great being 32 and injuring yourself by bending over. I am guessing a medic alert alarm and a senior living facility are next. Imagine all the guys I will get, though, when I'm 40 years younger than every eligible lady there. My social calendar is going to be chock full of dates with guys with pockets full of Werther's Original candies, hip hip hurray!
This whole lovely experience has really made it hit home that I have to start going to the gym again. When I started losing weight three years ago, my goal was not to be skinny but to be strong. Somewhere along the way I lost that, and being in intense pain after bending over has reminded me of the importance of not being immobile in a wheelchair at 40 years old. I really do feel motivated to get back into shape to avoid having this whole frickin thing happen again.
So for the next couple of days, I'm flat on my behind and drugged out of my mind. On the plus side, my DVR finally taped "Sister Wives" so I am sure this will be time well spent.