On Tuesday, I finally had an MRI of my back in an attempt to figure out the Mystery of the Debilitating Pain. It went well, meaning that I didn't panic and start pressing buttons and scream for the technician to get me the hell out of the tube. The technician also let me listen to her CD of "Born in the USA" during the procedure, so I'm sure my spine stood even straighter with patriotism and pride of my American citizenship.
They made a mistake of giving me a CD-Rom of the MRI pictures. Since we had a blizzard yesterday, I haven't gotten results yet. This means that I have been googling around looking at spinal conditions and comparing them to my spine for three days now. For a while I was sure I diagnosed prostate problems and maybe a penile hernia, but that turned out to be a dead-end.
Today, however, I loaded up the image viewer and discovered the real cause of all my back problems.
Look closely. Can you see it?
I am obviously suffering from a case of Pokemon Fever, at least a decade after it was fashionable. Alert the New England Journal of Medicine.