Monday, December 19, 2011

A Christmas (Party) Story

Guess who fell on her ass at her family Christmas party this weekend?  That's right, yours truly.

It shouldn't even surprise any of us anymore, honestly.

The original plan was for me to go to the party and just stand up with my crutches, make the rounds and leave after ten or fifteen minutes.  Then we got to thinkin' (which is dangerous when the Harper Hive Mind starts making plans) and figured if we could pile cushions on a chair, I'd be able to stay at the right angle and thus would get to stay longer.  Trial and error and drop offs from my Uncle Joe ensued and we finally came up with the perfect set up.

We set it up in the restaurant and it worked great.  Sure, it looked weird to come into the place and immediately see semi-reclining me before you even got to see the tree, but what can you do.  It was great to see everyone and kiss some babies and get gently teased by my cousins for making an appearance like the Queen Mum.

Then, I stood up to have someone adjust the pillows underneath me.  When I sat down, the chair slid out from under me and BOOM, right on my butt.

What followed was a mob scene of people trying to help me while I yelled at them to leave me alone while I figured out what to do.  (Sorry, fam).  I realized pretty quickly I wasn't hurt from the fall (thank you, well padded derriere) so the problem was how to stand up without putting weight on my bad leg.  I am sure there is some way to do this, but I couldn't figure it out and I ended up standing up on my gimpy right leg.  I felt pain right away.

Well, that was my cue to hit the road.  We went home, medicated me and started icing the leg.  The good news is that my hip feels great and I definitely didn't undo what the surgery accomplished, phew.  The not so good is that I have some pain and weakness in my IT band and quad muscle.  I'm still waiting to hear back from the surgeon, but my good friend from childhood who's a doctor (how's that for making a valuable connection early in life) thinks it's just from not using the leg for so long and then standing on it.  I'm really hopeful that he is right.

We have so many cute babies in our family that it's getting harder and harder for me to be the center of attention.  Now I had to actually have surgery and then wipe out at the Christmas party just to be the topic of conversation.  Oh well, us attention junkies will do what we have to do to stay relevant.

My cousins are also much nicer than me.  I got emails and messages full of concern and very little teasing.  If one of them fell and I knew they were okay, I would have made some comments about the grace and beauty of their butt hitting the floor at the very least.

Seriously, many thanks to my family for being wonderful and for loving me even in my elderly addled state.  I'm bummed to miss the party, always my favorite day of the year, but next year when I'm mobile again we'll have a few laughs reenacting the Big Fall of 2011.


  1. oh girl, I feel you! I don't have surgery or anything like that, but I am SO uncoordinated. Today I managed to fling an entire glass of milk all over the leather couch. Sometimes I fall over while I'm just standing there. Lets be friends. lol

  2. Hope you are feeling better. I missed the whole thing, so had no idea when we talked on your way out that you had just fallen. Hope your actual Christmas is fall-free and wonderful!

  3. Thanks, Meghan, I am glad that somebody missed the show. Have a great Christmas with your beautiful babies and I'm looking forward to #3!

  4. I'm glad there are more of us out there! Don't knock over your Christmas tree!