Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Vacation, with No Cousin Eddie

Last month, my sisters and I went down to Florida for a “holy shit, seven effing feet of snow in one year is way too much, Chicago, and I hate life” vacation. 

It was a nice reminder of what colors exist in nature aside from Snow White, Dirty Snow Brown and Dead Sky Grey.  

I'm totally dead for posting the above picture because my sister thinks she looks like Kim Jong Un, and I'm not sure she wants that plastered all over "that internet," as my dear mom calls it, but I decided to risk it because I look windblown and carefree.  This was taken before I developed my new fear of pelicans.  I was so young then.

We went to Disney World for the day and most notably ate Dole Whips.  ALWAYS worth the price of admission.

Space Mountain and The Haunted Mansion and all that were great, but a visit highlight was definitely when we saw a family of five getting attacked by swooping seagulls while the dad yelled, "It's the churros they're after, kids!  Keep a hold on your churros!"  

It was pretty crazy to compare my trip to Disney World in 2013 to this year's visit.  We walked all over the park for a good twelve hours and I never felt like I needed to sit down.  My stupid hip behaved itself and I no longer had panicky moments in line due to worries of not fitting onto It's a Small World After All.  (It's in your head now.  You're welcome.)

I'm still on the fence about buying the sparkly mouse ears.  Maybe I'll take the plunge on my next Disney visit.

One of my biggest "holy shit, things have changed" moments happened when we left Disney and headed to Cocoa Beach for a few days.  One afternoon, Kerry took a nap and Annie and I decided to take a walk on the beach.  We were talking and watching people argue on the beach and time got away from us.  I turned around and realized we were a long, long, long way away from our hotel.  We ended up walking almost six miles there and back.

Keep in mind, last time Annie and I were on the beach together, I went into the water on crutches.

We were in Jacksonville for a Bears vs. Jaguars game and we took full advantage of the stadium's handicapped services.

So being able to just walk for a couple of hours and not have it be a big deal at all... well, that ended up seeming like a pretty big deal.  I am so frickin grateful that stupid injury got better.  I'm also excited for the day when it all fades into memory and I can just take walking for granted again instead of feeling like I'm going to burst into tears when I see a scooter cart at Target, but that's another story.

ANYYYYYWAY, back to the trip.  We saw a space shuttle at Cape Canaveral, visited the bar where serial killer Aileen Wournos was arrested and we hung out with the cool spring breakers in Daytona Beach.

We took turns doing a ropes course because my two dumb sisters were wearing flip flops so I had to share my tennis shoes.

That's me, clutching onto my harness for dear life.  Keep in mind, this course was approximately fifteen feet above the ground over an arcade. I kept having to pump myself up to take a step across any of the rope obstacles.  I'd say, out loud, "Come on, Taryn, you jackass-- you've done much harder things than this!  Just do it!" All the while, five year old children were passing me and the employees were attempting to nudge me along.  

ME:  Just a quick question- if I call, do I just end up hanging there?  Do I have to pull myself back up or do you do it?

EMPLOYEE:  (extremely forced smile)  Don't worry, we can pull you back up with a pole and get you back on your way.

ME:  So I would just have to hang here like Tinkerbell while you got the pole?  With everyone below staring up at me?

EMPLOYEE:  That's about right, ma'am.

ME:  This is the bravest thing I've ever done!

EMPLOYEE:  (smile fading) Well, that's, uh, good, ma'am...

I ended up surviving, extremely proud of myself, until Annie and Kerry took their turns and whizzed through the thing in about a fifth of the time.  Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Then, we left and drove around taking pictures, pretending we were in a 1990's tampon commercial.  

All in all, we had a great time and had no ER visits or car accidents, so that counts as a very successful trip.


  1. Kim Jong IL! Get your North Korean dictators straight.

  2. How fun! Now post some more! lol :)